I HATE THIS FEELING.

I seriously hate it. I don't know what's going on with me, but it's definitely loneliness. Or karma, but hopefully not. :|

Now, I'm undergoing stress. All kinds of it. Because of my studies (?) or other things. I have kind of accepted it at first because I have no other choice, since I want to take up MedTech here @ UST from the very start. I'm just plain confused on what's happening to me right now. I'm still learning to love it, I just can't describe how lonely I am while studying, memorizing ions, solving math problems, and such. One time I texted all my friends, "I miss you guys", it did help... short-term help. And then there was this surprise text (and also call) from this guy. Which I liked for about two years ago. I don't know, but it gave me a sudden inspirations. But now again I'm lonely since I know it's make-up and pretend. But of course, hopefully not. What's so painful about this is, you're already setting up for your future. I truly believe that God has lined up someone for me, and I am just impatient to see him already. But that fact that I need him the most right now, God still doesn't want me to see him. Unfairrrrrrr. So, I'm learning the virtue of patience.

And now, I am in the midst of memorizing 106 ions, a LOT of formulas, and also a lot of scientist. First time in my life that I have been sleeping at 12am onwards. BAD BODY CLOCK. I swear to myself, I WILL SLEEP AFTER THE EXAMS. If not, I could be dead already. BASTA! I need need need need need need need inspiration.